I call it the brain period. For four days in the month, I have panic attacks.

Sometimes, I can handle them. Other times, like today, they get a bit too much.

How much?

Well, suicidal much.

Like I cannot get the thought of ending it all out of my mind. Go jump off a bridge, slit my wrists.

Death is better than dealing with this fear.

I cannot live.

I cannot live like this.

I cannot face the day like this. Every attack drags me down.

Every attack takes me to a darker place. To a place where I cannot see the way out.

The light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train.

I cannot live like this anymore. This is not living.

This is creeping into a hole, too afraid to do anything.

Anything…

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3 comments

  1. vuurklip · Januarie 9

    Wow! Hang in there, man!

  2. ekmyselff · Januarie 9

    Chin up!

  3. melouisef · Januarie 9

    Miskien moet jou medikasie hersien word? Angswerende middels word nou soveel beter… en miskien n nuwe doktersopinie.

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